Stupid? Or Struck by Cupid?

Lately, I realized that everyone I know is going through a similar phase. Their status on Gtalk, Facebook,Orkut... is telling me the same story. Everyone seems to be under a lot of pressure to prove themselves,worried about the future and elders giving them all hints that they need to get married soon. Its almost like a time bomb.

This is a story of all those girls around me, put together as one experience. But I'm sure each one can relate to it.

She had relearned to smile. Take things as they come. Her heart was broken by someone very dear. A companion she thought she had for life. She'd a picture of her future with the love of her life. When reality dawned upon her she realized,Life had so much more offer. She diverted her time to all the things she had not paid attention to all this time.

Then someone walked into her life. He seemed so sensible. So much more mature when compared to any other boy she knew. He appreciated her and the things she does. Her dreams seemed important to him too. He encouraged her to live her dreams. He reminded her that she was important too. He said he respects her for the person she is. She'd never seen a more sensible man her whole life. He not only knew what is best for him but also helped her realize what is best for her. Whenever she wanted to give up, he reminded her of her potential. He always told her how good he thought she was. He made her feel good about herself.

Then one day she was lost in thoughts, thinking about all that he'd said and everything that it meant to her. She began to weep. Wondering,how someone could care for her so much. She was scared she might fall in love with this man. She had a new found respect for him. When her friends asked her what happened,she said "How can someone be so good to me that I wish to do everything he says without complaining? How is it possible that I'm unable to find any faults in him? I've never felt this way before. Its not fair". She asked them if she sounded stupid? They said, "you didn't sound stupid,you sounded like you've been struck by cupid". This made her weep even more.

She was running away from love and there she was wondering if she were in love again. She was so used to taking care of others that the moment she felt that she was being taken care of,her world seemed very different. It wasn't something she knew of. It was a whole new experience. She loved every bit of it, what scared her was the thought of losing it. She didn't know what he felt for her. She didn't know for sure if she was in love with him. Whatever she felt for him at that time seemed like love.

She didn't want to lose him. She didn't want to get her heart broken either. She was scared of making a wrong choice as she'd done before. She didn't want stupid cupid to ruin her happiness. She is confused.

Her heart pounded loud as she lay on her bed with many thoughts swirling in her head. That was when she made a conscious decision that she will not let things from the past haunt her. She also decided that she'd embrace each thing as and when it came without giving too much thought to where this new found relationship was headed. She promised herself that she'd not let the cupid make her go weak in knees. Instead, she would only do what seemed best to her than getting carried away even if it was for a moment because, she was no longer a girl but a WOMAN who knew what she wanted in life and a woman with no regrets in life. She smiled through her tears.

She fell. But that's not all.......She had the courage to stand up. That made her a winner!

If life has to offer her happiness in the form of this new friend then so be it. She wasn't going to run away from it. Right or wrong she wouldn't know unless she gave it a chance. If someone could love her for what she is then she'd rather be stupid and struck by cupid.

Next day she woke up with a new zest towards life.She looked into the mirror and said to herself, "Life is beautiful...you just need pure eyes to look at it!".

The Optimistic Way

Optimism is an art. Its hard to be optimistic when life tests every bit of your patience. Two of my teachers have made a great deal of difference in my life as they taught me to look at the brighter side of life.

I've always had the habit of scribbling whatever is in my mind in a notebook or some place else. When i was 14 year old,I scribbled a question in my school diary,'All that happens,happens for good?'

And I forgot about what I'd written. A teacher of mine,Mrs. Sunitha Menezes, asked for my diary to write some hymns that we needed to learn for Christmas. She saw what I'd scribbled and wrote an answer to it.

"It is true because 'All things work for good for those who love God'. Sooner or later in life we realise that whatever has happened is for good. So have faith in God and move ahead with great hope. everything will al right."

"Life is beautiful within and around,All we need is two beautiful pure eyes to look around". These words had a very big impact on me.

In my line of work,we're trained to find mistakes in whatever is presented to us. And I've seen people around me becoming very cynical about life due to this habit of 'finding faults'. They tend to start finding faults in everything.

In my CA coaching class,My Teacher,Mr. Vijay Raja,gave us a speech in his last class.

Here I quote a few things he said,

"Our mind has two parts,the conscious mind and the sub conscious mind. Our sub conscious minds are all connected. That is why when we are sad, we see only unhappiness around us. When you wake up in the morning, put up a smile on your face and wish everyone a 'Happy morning' and the day will turn out to be happy day because your sub-conscious mind connects you to all the happiness around you."

"Each one of us have a set of people we call idols for various reasons. We never go up to them to tell them what we appreciate most about them. In the same way, you too are an idol to someone, find that quality in you and appreciate yourself."

That day he did not tell us how to prepare ourselves for the examination but how to live our lives. I can't thank him enough for all that he said that day. Such words bail us out of the bouts of pessimism.

Every person tends to get pessimistic about things. But how soon we recover from it and see the positive side of life is what differentiates an optimist from a pessimist.

Worries are like a stone that gets into your shoe while you walk. Don't try to walk while it bothers you. Stop walking and throw it out. It makes a lot of difference and then you can comfortably see life 'The Optimistic Way'.

My take on true love

A strong positive emotion of regard and affection,is that what love is? I'm not talking about Love in general, I'm talking about the Love that every person knowingly or unknowingly fantasizes about. Everyone seems to be in search of true Love.

Psychologists say it stimulates that part of your brain which is stimulated when cocaine is introduced to the body. Quite a risky state of mind to be in, I'd say. You see colours more bright and there's a funny feeling of happiness inside. Differences between the two people seem to blurr when they are in Love. Age,religion,habits,looks none of these things matter. In that state of mind do we really know what we're up to? Is it right to make a commitment for life at that point?

Religion says that is the love you need to feel for the almighty. And many religions portray it in the same way. Movies only show us how amazing that initial drive is. We all have a picture in our minds as to how our partner will be and how it feels to be in Love. We create our own mindset of how,where and when we will find someone who is exclusively made just for us. And we keep looking for that person who matches the picture in our minds and triggers an adrenaline rush.

But for how long does a person feel that rush ? Doesn't that effect come down too sometime? The truth is it does.

Every relationship that begins with love must stand the test of time. People change and so do their priorities. And amidst all these the only thing that keeps two people together is their willingness to stay together. I don't know if soul mates exist but I've seen some wonderful couples in my life. They are imperfect people who make a perfect couple. They seem to complete each other. They work really hard to make their relationship work. And that is what I call Love. Because the initial drive eventually dies out but the love you feel after that is True Love.

True love could be in any disguise, it might be right around the corner, its just that you have failed to even look at it. Its very easy to fall in Love. Because love is really not that hard to find. It happens a number of times but when only one person really matters and when you wish to revive and re-live that initial rush with that person,that is when you are really in Love.

A Cocktail Called Life

Life is all about looking ahead and finding what you really want. All your dreams. I thought I always knew what I wanted in life. And I did. It was beautiful.

Sometimes dreams shatter and they shatter you along with it. Just like a piece of glass my dream was broken too. I cried and I tried desperately to get all those pieces together.

And then there was a day when I realised that those weren't what I really wanted. What I really want is to be Happy. And when I started looking for it, I found happiness in every corner. When my dream shattered into pieces they just became a number of dreams. Each one of them better than before.

Every person who came into my life brought a different flavour with them. They always come and leave at the right time. Some taught me what I should do, and some what I shouldn't. But each and every one of them taught me something. They showed me all the different shades of life. No one stays forever. The only thing that is Ours forever,is the life We lead. We need to blend in every flavour brought by all the people who come and go,in the right amount, and drink a cocktail that makes You happy. Add new flavours and they make the cocktail more interesting.

My thoughts precisely

Lyrics from one of my favourite songs :

Eh Zindagi ...

Yeh Lamha jee lene de.

Pehle se likha kuch bhi nahi

Roz naya kuch,likhthi hei tu

Jo bhi likha hei,Dil Se jiya hei

Yeh Lamha Filhaal jee lene de....

Maasum si hansi,bewajah hi kabhi

Honton pe khil jathi hei

Anjan si khushi,behthi hui kabhi

Sahil pe mil jathi hei

Ye anjaana sa darr,ajnabi hei magar

Khoobsoorat hei jee lene de...

Yeh Lamha filhaal jee lene de

Dil hi mein rehtha,aankhon mein behtha hei

Kacha sa ek khwaab hei

Lagtha sawaal hei,shaayad jawab hei

Dil phir bhi bethaab hei

Ye sukoon hei tho hei

Ye Junoon hei tho hei

Khoobsoorat hei jee lene de...

Yeh Lamha filhaal jee lene de

Pehle se likha kuch bhi nahi

Roz naya kuch,likhthi hei tu

Jo bhi likha hei,Dil Se jiya hei

Yeh Lamha Filhaal jee lene de....

Tamanna

Buddha said "Desire is the root of all suffering". In my view,there is desire in what he said too. Desire to be free from all suffering. No man is free from desire. I am not referring only to material desires.

It is human tendency to desire happiness. Every individual has a different perception of happiness. To some success means happiness to some others happiness lies in seeing another happy. To achieve this happiness every individual lays his or her own path. Sometimes they end up snatching it from others. Desire knows no boundaries,there is nothing that can fill the void space. Where one desire ends,the other begins.

As they say there is no unselfish deed...there is always a small hint of selfishness in every deed. Well .. all that makes a difference is whether that deed has been fruitful to anyone other than Oneself.

So here I go, I begin writing my blogs "in the name of desire - Tamanna" A desire to find a way to express myself.